


anything for you, iwa-chan!

by Ro (jjaero)



Series: Ro's Sad Shit [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ai is a bitch okay, I apologise, Iwaizumi's Married sigh, M/M, One-sided Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sad Oikawa Tooru, Supportive Oikawa Tooru, Unrequited Love, Why Did I Write This?, iwaizumi is also hurting and he regrets his life choices, oiks is hurting and i am BEYOND unhappy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 19:58:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10624089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjaero/pseuds/Ro
Summary: oikawa tooru writes a letter.or,the anGSTY IWAIZUMI-GETS-MARRIED-FIC nobody, I MEAN N O B O D Y ASKED FOR





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Potato_man](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potato_man/gifts).



> im sorry

 

> **``I've cried for you, did you know?``- Oikawa Tooru**
> 
>  

"Do you, Nakamura Ai, take Hajime Iwaizumi, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love, to honor and to cherish?"

"I do,"

"And do you, Hajime Iwaizumi, take Nakamura Ai, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love, to honor and to cherish?"

He smiled. "I do,"

* * *

Oikawa Tooru didn't really like crying.

But, today was an exception. Iwaizumi Hajime, his best friend, for God-knows-how-long, was lawfully married to one of the many girls Oikawa disliked.

When he first found out that Ai liked _his_ Iwa-chan, he freaked out.

Iwaizumi was straight, he knew that.

He didn't freak out because she liked him though. He freaked out because he _knew_ that she was much better. No matter how much people like Hanamaki, Matsukawa, Kindaichi, Yahaba, _Kyoutani_ _,_ Watari, Kunimi, _hell_ , Kageyama and Hinata, told him it was fine, he was still nervous. He didn't stand a chance. She was pretty, he was not. Even if he kept telling himself that. She was talented, he was not. Even if people kept telling him he was. She was a female. He was not. Iwaizumi liked girls. Oikawa liked guys. A huge problem that couldn't be fixed.

_"Say, Iwa-chan, do you fancy Ai-chan?"_

_"Um, I do."_

_"Oh, good to know."_

_"Do **you** fancy her, Oikawa?"_

_"No, all yours, Iwa-chan,"_

_"Thanks, Shittykawa."_

He even _smiled_ when he told him that she was all his.

He hated that.

_Loathed that._

Hating the situation, he did understand. Talented. Not. Perfect. Not. He understood.

_"So, Ai-san... will you... go out with me?"_

_"Is that even a question, Iwa-kun? -" - Oikawa hissed at the nickname - "-of course!"_

That's when Iwaizumi started to cancel all of their plans almost everyday, instead going to his girlfriend's house or hang out with his new-found "friends", courtesy of Ai. He wanted to gauge his eyes out. He constantly had multiple petty group calls with the Aoba Johsai Team and some of the Karasuno Volleyball Club members (Kageyama, Hinata, Sugawara, and Asahi, surprisingly).

_"Sh, stop crying, Oikawa-san-"_

_"Shut up, Tobio-chan!"_

_"Oi,"_

_"Makki, what should we do?"_

_"We can't leave him be! I'll fight Iwaizumi today, I swear-"_

_"No, Mattsun!"_

_"Grand King, please, I know it's painful."_

_"Shrimpy, it's just- Argh, it's been **years** since we've been friends- and I liked him seven years ago. He **knows** that I like him, but he just-"_

He continued to cry. The reception he was in was huge. He was slumped in a corner and he started writing his letter. Remembering all the times he and Iwaizumi had. They were all precious to him, every single one.

_"Hey, Oikawa!"_

_"Iwa-chaaan~!"_

_"Oi, shut up! I found a butterfly, wanna help me catch it?"_

_"Anything for you, Iwa-chan!"_

He hiccuped.

" ** _Anything for you... Iwa-chan..._** " he mimicked his own words.

_"Hey, Tooru."_

_"What?"_

_"Help me out, will ya?"_

_"Anything for you, Iwa-chan!"_

He choked back his tears.

" **... _anything for you... Iwa-chan..._** " he repeated, pressing down the pen hard against the paper. His tears stained it as well.

_"Hey, Shittykawa, can you... call Ai? I have something to tell her."_

_"Ooo, a confession, maybe?"_

_"Shut up,"_

_"P-Pft, a-anything for y-you, Iwa-chan!"_

 

" _ **...anything for you...**_ " he stood up, ripping the paper, handing it to Mattsun. 

"Oikawa-san, are you okay?" Mattsun asked with worry-clouded eyes. Oikawa just smiled.

"Yeah."

"Okay, then." he received the paper from the taller man's hand and watched the brunette leave.

He closed his eyes, walking to the open elevator. Good, it was empty.

He pressed the _First Floor_ button and watched as the silver door closed.

" ** _...Iwa-chan..._** "

* * *

Matsukawa laughed at another joke, then finished off the letter.

"That was from our wonderful Kindaichi!" the audience laughed and clapped at Kindaichi, who was bowing with a smile. Ai smiled at him, but it was... cold. And both Kindaichi and Mattsun noticed that.

"Our last letter, from... Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san's best friend. Man, how long has it been? Too bad he's not here, he had to go!"

Iwaizumi flashed a worried look, but kept the smile on.

"Oh... um... yes. Okay. Here it is."

"I’ve said a lot of goodbyes, too many to even remember, but I think this would be the last one. The one where I’ll take courage to say everything I need to so when I’m done, I’d be able to truly let go of something that hasn’t even happened. I realized it a year and a half ago. If anyone asked why liked you, I had one consistent answer: You were fun to hang around with. You are the type of person that I would want to be with because spending time with you was always time that was worth it. We shared some interests but they were interests we shared with others as well. Nothing really special and nothing that I would consider to be special for you and me..." Matsukawa started and looked at Iwaizumi's expression. He couldn't tell what it was. It was a mixture of confusion and sadness.

"I always had fears during the period I was infatuated with you. I know it was overthinking but I felt you found my company unbearable, almost to the point that you always wanted to get as far away from me as possible. Such low self-esteem issues, am I right? I’ve always had those, unfortunately. I’m pessimistic and think of the worst things in people –– I fear that there are worst things about me..." he continued, this time, the married man was... tearing up.

"Perhaps it’s because of my outgoing friends or those that are comfortable with their identity that I find myself lost and full of envy. Now I realize that liking you was more about me than you and I’m sorry about it. I’m sorry about it to you because it feels like it’s unfair of me and also very selfish. I got jealous a lot, despite you never knowing about the existence of my feelings. I did not like it when you seemed to have more fun with other girls except me because I guess, I longed for us to get to know each other better. I had hoped that you shared more personal stories to me so I could have listened instead of merely having those meager moments where you listened to this little trivia I was talking about. You always challenge people’s claims and perhaps one thing I regretted was that I never made a proper comeback. I always thought that would’ve brought us closer –– that you could have liked me more. I cried for you, did you know? But more times (or more appropriately said), I cried a lot because of you..."

Iwaizumi stood up and people were gasping. Matsukawa knew about the "letter plan", but he didn't expect this reaction from Iwaizumi.

"You may have been my “first love” and I didn’t know what to do with it. In the early days, it was fine because you inspired me. Infatuation, feelings, and human interactions are such curious things. I was always dramatic about it and sought the aid of friends once I realized I could not hold it any longer. They helped me move on from this thing that never happened and were always there to listen. I always told myself that it was painful - and it still is - because I even gave up on chance..."

"I knew our feelings were mutual, you constantly talked about her... and I understood. I wasn't perfect, but she was. In your eyes, anyways. I've been swarmed by many boys and girls, a whole lot of them telling me that I was ' _the most amazing guy ever_ ', but that didn't matter to me. Why? Because I didn't give a shit. Okay? I didn't. I wanted your opinion. I wanted your judgement, not everyone else's. You were the only thing that mattered."

"Loving you was the most exquisite form of self-destruction."

Iwaizumi gasped, holding back his tears.

"I'd do anything for you, Iwa-chan. But... not anymore. I love you, Iwa-chan."

* * *

 

Ai tried to calm her newly-wed husband.

"You don't actually love him back, do you?"

"..."

"... of course you do, you fucking dick," she stormed out of the room, leaving Iwaizumi. There, crying.

"I love you too, Tooru. I'm sorry."

**END**

 

 


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